Default Drift: The Invisible Force Determining Your Future Self

When you’re young, you look like your parents. When you grow up, you look like your decisions.

This morning, I showed my passport photo from ten years ago to my friend Zach. His jaw literally dropped to the floor.

“There’s no way that’s you,” he said, eyes wide with genuine shock.

He wasn’t just seeing different hair or a younger face. He was seeing a different person—someone who was being pulled by life’s currents instead of navigating them intentionally.

This photo is now my warning sign—tangible proof of what happens when you let what I call “Default Drift” determine your direction. It’s the universal tendency of life to pull you off course unless you actively steer against it.

And it’s happening to you right now (unless you’re intentionally fighting against it).

The Physics of Personal Growth

In physics, the Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the total entropy of an isolated system always increases over time. In simpler terms: things naturally move from order to disorder unless energy is applied to maintain order.

Physical examples surround us:

• Stars explode into cosmic dust
• Muscles atrophy without use
• Buildings decay

This same principle applies to your life, goals, and relationships. Without applied energy and intention, everything drifts toward disorder—not toward your dreams:

• Skills deteriorate without practice
• Relationships fade without nurture
• Dreams dissolve into compromises

And here’s an important note: Sometimes, seasons of drift are natural and necessary. Just as winter allows the soil to rest before spring’s growth, there are periods in life where letting go of rigid control allows for integration and renewal. The key is recognizing when you’re drifting by choice versus by default.

Recognizing Your Default Drift

Default Drift shows up in countless ways, but here are the most common patterns:

• Relationship Drift: Slow fade of intimacy as you both get “too busy” to connect deeply
• Career Drift: Staying in jobs you’ve outgrown because change feels too difficult
• Health Drift: Letting “just this once” exceptions become your normal pattern, while your body gradually weakens
• Creative Drift: Consuming content instead of creating what only you can make
• Purpose Drift: Working for the weekend instead of building a life that energizes you

The scariest part? You often don’t realize you’re drifting until you wake up one day feeling like a stranger in your own life.

The Antidote to Drift: Intentional Shift

If Default Drift pulls you off course, what pulls you back? I call it Intentional Shift—the deliberate redirection of your energy toward what feels truly aligned.

But here’s the challenge: How do you know which direction to shift toward?

This is where most advice falls short. We’re told to “follow our passion” or “just start,” but these directives assume we already know which way to go. Many of us don’t—we just know something feels off.

The missing piece is what I call self-attunement.

Self-Attunement: Finding Your True North

Self-attunement is the practice of checking in with yourself—noticing how you actually feel in your body rather than how you think you should feel. (Note: sounds simple, but I’m just now discovering it’s power.)

This morning on my walk, I felt the wind on my face and the sun on my skin. I took a deep breath and felt a wave of appreciation wash over me. The version of me from ten years ago in that passport photo? He never paused to notice these sensations. He was too busy following external expectations.

Self-attunement isn’t complicated, but it’s surprisingly rare. Most of us were never taught to recognize and trust our internal signals. Instead, we learned to override them in favor of what others expect or what seems “practical.”

But your body knows. It knows when you’re aligned and when you’re drifting.

Some signals of drift:

• Resentment toward commitments you once eagerly made
• A vague sense of numbness where passion once lived
• Sunday dread about the week ahead

Signals of alignment:

• Energy that exceeds what your activities should require
• A sense of “flow” where time seems to disappear
• A quiet confidence that doesn’t need external validation

One simple tool that’s helped me become more attuned is the Express vs. Impress check.

Express vs. Impress: A Simple Check-In Tool

One helpful tool in my self-attunement practice is asking: “Am I trying to express or impress?”

• Express is sharing what genuinely moves you—it flows from inside out, honest and present
• Impress is performing for perception—it’s pulled from outside in, filtered for approval

This distinction helped me recognize subtle forms of drift, especially in social situations. A younger, more insecure version of me would say things to appear wise rather than share what felt true.

A few check-in questions that reveal this drift:

• Am I sharing this for connection or perception?
• Would I still do this if no one else ever saw it?
• Am I moved by what I’m saying, or am I calculating its effect?

This small awareness can begin to shift your direction.

Values as Your Internal Compass

As you practice self-attunement, patterns emerge. You begin to recognize what consistently energizes you versus what consistently drains you. These patterns reveal your personal values.

To fight the powerful force of drift effectively, you need to know which direction feels right for you. This is where personal values become crucial.

I keep mine in a simple note on my phone—four words that guide my intentional shifts:

1. Health: Physical and mental wellbeing as my foundation
2. Integrity: Following my curiosity and intuition
3. Relationships: Meaningful connections with others
4. Energy: Enthusiasm, boldness, and humor in my approach

Sure, at the end of the day these are just words. But I’ve found that by picking the ones that feel aligned with who I really am, they become something much more powerful. Like a personal operating system, compass, and decision filter all in one. They’ve changed several times over the years as I’ve grown and learned more about myself.

This is why I recommend taking time to clarify your own values. Just pick a few words that resonate right now, knowing they can and will evolve as you do. Even if it’s just a five-minute check-in. Most people never take this small step (or don’t revisit it), yet it can dramatically clarify your direction.

From Awareness to Action: Small Experiments

Self-attunement creates awareness, but awareness alone doesn’t change your direction. For that, you need action—but not the overwhelming kind that most advice prescribes.

Instead, think of small experiments that feel light and aligned.

I’ve found that the most powerful shifts often start with the smallest steps:

• A 10-minute morning check-in before looking at my phone
• One conversation where I express rather than impress
• A tiny creative act that energizes rather than depletes

Think of it like taking things out of a heavy backpack you’ve been carrying around. Recently, I had the idea of giving more attention to my personal channels, so I started small—just publishing one video on my YouTube channel as an experiment. I interviewed someone whose writing I admired, and it felt fun, real, and aligned. Now I have momentum and excitement around it, and I feel lighter for having taken that first step.

The beauty of experiments is that they don’t need to succeed to be valuable. Each one, whether it “works” or not, gives you data about your direction.

My Biggest Realization: Be, Don’t Just Do

My biggest realization has been how backward I had things for years. I was constantly trying to optimize externally—more productivity, more output, more hustle—without ever checking if these things felt aligned internally.

I’ve learned that the most optimal path isn’t forcing yourself to do more, but attuning to what naturally energizes you. The path of self-attunement isn’t just more fulfilling—it’s actually more efficient. You waste less energy fighting yourself and spend more energy flowing in directions that feel right.

In a way, I was wasting tremendous energy trying to optimize and do, do, do—when the real power came from learning to be, to trust, and to attune to what feels alive internally.

The AWE Method: A Continuous Cycle

Everything I’ve shared can be distilled into a simple, continuous cycle I call the AWE Method:

• A – Awareness: Recognize the drift and check in with your body and intuition
• W – Wonder: Why it feels off and what may feel more aligned
• E – Experiment: Take one small, curious step in that direction

The beauty of this approach is its lightness. Instead of heavy goals and rigid systems, you’re constantly cycling back to awareness, checking what feels aligned in this moment, and taking small experimental steps.

When you notice yourself drifting again (and you will—we all do), just return to awareness. That’s not failure; it’s the cycle working as designed.

Your First Step: Look at Your Photo

Default Drift happens to everyone, but it doesn’t have to determine who you become.

Today, find a photo of yourself from five or ten years ago. Really look at it. Not just at your appearance, but at who you were then. Ask yourself:

• What direction was I drifting in then?
• What direction am I drifting in now?
• If I continue on this current path, who will I become in another five years?
• Does that future version of me feel aligned with who I want to be?

Then, take just one small step in the direction that feels right—not because you should, but because your body, your energy, and your deeper wisdom are guiding you there.

Remember: The universe naturally moves toward disorder. Your awareness and intentional actions are counterforces that create meaning and alignment in your life.

The difference between Default Drift and Intentional Shift isn’t perfection—it’s awareness, followed by wonder, followed by experimentation. And it all begins with a single moment of truly checking in with yourself.

That moment can be right now.