Joy vs Happiness

There’s a BIG difference between joy and happiness…

Joy is internal and constant. It’s independent of circumstance.

Happiness is external and temporary. Dependent on circumstance.

Joy is in the heart. Happiness is on the face.

Joy is present in the moment, each moment. Happiness is temporary, just passing through.

Indian yoga guru, Jaggi Vasudev, captures the essence of joy in one of my favorite quotes:

The most beautiful moments in life are moments when you are expressing your joy, not when you are seeking it.

Jaggi Vasudev

Okay now, let’s explore some specific examples.

Matthew McConaughy explains the distinction of joy from happiness. He says joy is the feeling we have from doing what we’re fashioned to do. He found joy (enjoying his acting work) when he stopped making the daily labor a means to a certain end (conditional outcome). For example, this film needs to be a box office success. This performance needs to be acknowledged.

Those outcomes bring conditional happiness (if attained) for a brief period of time. That’s not joy.

McConaughy didn’t find joy until the work itself, the daily acting, became the reward.

He eventually realized joy is a process that’s always under construction. And he used this process as his new approach. It was only THEN, that he got more box office hits and more accolades than ever before.

Alright (alright, alright) that sounds great, but what if we’re not Matthew McConaughey?

Fair point.

We’ll the same rules apply. If joy is the internal foundation and happiness is the external result, we start by building the foundation.

Since we can’t control the external part anyway, we’ll focus on the controllable internal. The internal part we know for sure. If the goal is to fall in love with the process (not the outcome), what are the building blocks of that process?

What are the daily inputs or better yet daily adventures we desire?

Most likely not email replies or status updates “super excited about this project…” if that’s not actually the case. There’s no way to fall in love with that process. Don’t fool yourself. Physicist Richard Feynman’s famous tip, “the first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Maybe it’s more learning and less admin work. Maybe it’s playing basketball or hosting events. Deep down you know what you like. But it’s also easy to feel stuck at times. Finding joy is your way out. Let’s break it down.

Step 1: Own Your Attitude

Happiness is a feeling based on circumstances. Joy is an attitude that defies circumstance.

The best part is that you can bring this attitude anywhere you go. Have a boring meeting you have to go to? All good, your joy is independent of circumstance. Sure your circumstance might not be great right now and there are things out of your control. But you CAN control how you show up. So bring the energy.

Step 2: Explore Your ICE (interest, curiosity, excitement)

These are the breadcrumbs to joy.

Next time you get curious or excited, EXPLORE it. Play with it further and try to capture whatever it may be. The work emails can wait. Your heart cannot.

Not sure where to start? Keep it easy. Just start to log what could be sources of joy throughout the week.

I’ll give a personal example, which is writing this blog. I stumbled across this concept of joy vs happiness and got CURIOUS. I read up on it and then got writing. And here’s the most important part…

If not a single person reads this post, that’s completely okay with me.

Sure I’ve now spent many hours on this. But it’s the process of learning and playing with concepts in writing that is fun for me (most of the time). I know I’m getting better at writing and clear thinking through this process. So I’m enjoying the process, regardless of the outcome.

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m writing this. Think for yourself about what you’re doing on the nights and weekends already. Or what you would do if you had more time?

Step 3: Audit Joy vs Happiness

Happiness is having what we want.

Joy is wanting what we have.

So we need to figure out what we ACTUALLY want.

I started to think through things I’d do if I had unlimited time. What are the things I’m curious about but haven’t made enough time for?

• My podcast (in process)
• Learning about health (ex: Hone Health hormone testing*)
• Creating content (newsletter, essays, videos)

Similar to the concept of build vs borrow, I want to build my future joy foundation by respecting my excitement and curiosity.

Understanding the difference between joy and happiness allows us to further build joy. Yes, this cup of coffee gives me happiness (emotional response), but this writing practice gives me joy (inner contentment).

Joy is the root. Happiness is the fruit. Time to water your garden.

*Note I just ordered this to practice what I preach. Do it now!